


Through The Storm We Reach The Shore

by LeeLee710



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeLee710/pseuds/LeeLee710
Summary: Series Finale Fix-it Attempt
Comments: 14
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another fix it attempt for the finale. It's not finished, I'm not even sure where it's going. I still hate the finale. I'm still trying to make it right. So here is my brain trying to work it out.
> 
> Title from the song "With or Without You"

It felt wrong. All of of a sudden it all felt wrong. Everything he had been sure of up until this moment was immediately brought into question. The weight of Catherine's hand in his own felt like a vice. He glanced at the text from Danny again "Miss you already". 

Danny had been unusually quiet and solemn down on the beach. Granted he was still recovering from major surgery, amongst other injuries, but there had been something incredibly off. During their goodbye, Danny had never looked him in the eye. His heart constricted at the vision of Danny sitting alone while Steve left. 

What the hell was he thinking? Just a week ago he was praying to a God he wasn't sure he even believed in to take him and not Danny. Now he was willingly leaving him?

"Steve?" Catherine squeezed his hand in question.

"I can't do this" He shook her hand loose and unbuckled his belt.

"Steve, what are y..."

"I'm sorry Cath, this is...this is all wrong." He stammered, standing quickly and stepping over her.

"It's so good to see you Cath, but I don't...Thank you, for helping with the cipher, for putting this mess to rest. But I have to go." He reached up to open the overhead compartment.

"Sir, you must take your seat."

"Steve.."

Steve turned panicked eyes to the flight attendant.

"No, no I need to get off the plane"

"I'm sorry sir but we've pulled away from the gate, you need to take your seat. Now"

"You don't understand, I'm Five-O. This is an emergency. I need to get off, you need to stop the plane!"

"I know who you are Commander, but that's not possible. Please take your seat."

"Steve..." Cath took hold of his hand again. "...sit down" 

"I..."

"Come on, it's ok"

Steve hesitantly climbed back over Catherine and sat down. His heart raced as they began to move along the tarmac.

"Steve..."

"Cath don't ok, I left him...I just, I left him. How could I?" His voice was shaky as tears brimmed in his eyes."A week ago I thought I lost him, I would've given anything on this earth to get him back. He was just barely out of the hospital and I left him. How could I do that?"

"Danny, of all people, understands why you needed to do this."

"I told him I needed to find peace, but HE'S been my peace. For ten years he stood by my side, no matter what, he never left. But now I left him?"

"Just because you decided to get away, take some time, doesn't mean you'll never see him again. Sometimes you have to be selfish Steve. You have to think about yourself for a change."

"Like you did?" 

Catherine looked stricken.

"I guess I deserved that" 

"Look I'm sorry.”

“No, you’re right. Maybe I was selfish, and I can’t say I’m sorry for it. I am sorry I hurt you, but not sorry for taking care of myself.”

Steve still wasn’t convinced, the guilt still ate away at him. Looking out the window as the plane ascended, he watched the island get smaller beneath him. He looked in the direction of where his house would be, thinking maybe he could spot his friend sitting on the beach. That was crazy, he knew, but it didn’t stop him from trying.

“He’ll be okay Steve…” He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. “…and so will you.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Steve sighed, resigned to the fact that there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it right now. He took some deep breaths and forced himself to relax. There was no reason he couldn’t just hop a flight back to the island after they landed. It was just that simple. The thought calmed him as his flight was underway.

+++++++++++

It wasn’t that simple. 

Steve had made up his mind pretty quickly that he would head home immediately after landing in Montana. Except Catherine had been very persuasive in her argument that he should at least get a good nights rest before heading back. That one good night turned into two, then three and before he knew it three weeks had gone by. After that first night, they had gone to Joe’s ranch. Steve had fully planned on seeing to the property, making sure all was well, then going back to Hawaii. But with each new day came new work to be done. He just could not leave Joe’s home in the condition it was in. 

And with all the distractions he realized that three weeks had passed and he had never even responded to Danny’s ‘miss you already’ text. He had exchanged a few brief texts with Lou, who assured him he would check in on Danny after he and Adam questioned a suspect they had in custody for their latest case. That was a week ago.

He sat beneath the old oak tree as the sun began to set and pulled out his phone. He tried calling Danny, he tried four times before he left a message.

“Hey brother, sorry for the radio silence. Got caught up, no excuses, I should’ve called sooner. You’d better be keeping up with your PT, and my dog…” He paused, “…call me when you can buddy. Miss you too.”

He hung up, a heaviness in his heart. He felt awful for not having checked in sooner. He knew how Danny stressed himself out with worry over him. Hoping to ease is friends worries he snapped a quick smiling selfie with the sunset behind him and sent it off. ‘Wish you were here’ typed underneath.

++++++++++

Danny reached his hand out from beneath the blankets to grab his phone. His intention was to shut it off, better yet throw it across the room. He had tried to ignore it but after the fourth time it went off he figured he should make sure it wasn’t Grace or Charlie with an emergency. He groaned as the quick movement jarred his shoulder, sending spikes of pain across his chest. It only became worse when he saw Steve’s stupid smiling face on the screen. He looked happy, and as much as it relieved him to know he was safe and in one peace, it made him angry as well. 

He quickly silenced his phone and tossed it to the bottom of the bed. It had taken three weeks to finally get a response from Steve and this is what he gets? No thank you.

Truth be told it had been an incredibly rough three weeks. His recovery had not gone according to plan. He had a major setback the night Steve left. He didn’t remember collapsing on the beach. He didn’t remember Eddie barking wildly as he ran back and forth between him and the house to alert it’s occupants of the emergency. He didn’t remember the team frantically calling his name or administering CPR. He didn’t remember his heart stopping for the third time in a week. He didn’t remember being rushed to the hospital after paramedics shocked his heart back to life. He didn’t remember because he wasn’t conscious for any of it. 

Bottom line, his heart was damaged. The bullet had narrowly missed the vital organ and the surgery to repair the damage surrounding it had put a lot of strain on it. He had been warned upon his initial release from the hospital to avoid any and all stress, that it could cause him to have major issues. He hadn’t shared that with anyone, especially Steve. He knew that would have changed Steve’s plans to leave the island and he certainly didn’t want to be the reason he sacrificed his chance at finding peace.

During his second run in the hospital after collapsing, the doctors informed him that he was developing a lot of scar tissue in his chest from his wound. As the scar tissue grew it would begin to essentially suffocate his heart. 

He didn’t tell the team that either. He had made some jokes about Steve having broken his heart, it was only partly true. It distracted them enough that they didn’t push the subject. He had made sure that they understood not to call Steve. He lied only slightly by telling them the doctors said it was just a minor setback. It was indeed a serious issue, one they would be keeping a close eye on. 

A couple of days later he was released once again. The team was back in full work mode, busy with a new case, so he had asked Flippa to give him a lift home. Home meaning his house, not Steve’s. There had been no reason to go back to Steve’s. Junior was there to take care of the house and Eddie. Danny could return to his fully renovated house and take care of himself. 

No-one had really questioned it, figuring it was just too hard for Danny to remain at Steve’s house. The steady communication dwindled, Lou having been the last to check on him. He didn’t blame them, life moved on. He was actually grateful for the lull. It allowed him to sulk in solitude.

The hits, however, continued a week ago when Rachel informed him that Charlie had been accepted into an elite computer science program…in London. The major catch was that it was a year long program. His kid was a genius and he couldn’t possibly deny him when he practically begged Danny if he could go. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Two days later Charlie and Rachel were gone. He wouldn’t be able to visit them, not anywhere in the near future. The doctors advised him not to fly for an indefinite period of time. That took visiting Grace in California off the list also. 

He knew he was quickly falling into a depression. It was the middle of the day and he was once again buried under the covers. He rarely left the house unless he had a doctor appointment. He barely ate, only when he had to take medication and that was because he didn’t feel like being nauseous on top of everything else. He was able to fend off visitors by keeping up with texts, assuring them he was ok. He hadn’t bothered getting a new car yet as he wasn’t cleared to even drive. So if someone stopped by his house unexpectedly, the empty driveway and darkness in the house would have any visitor soon leaving. 

He didn’t want to see anyone. He missed his kids, he missed Steve he missed feeling good. So he slept most of the time. Watched some mindless television when he couldn’t sleep. He thought about talking to his doctor about how miserable he was feeling emotionally, then decided against it. He didn’t care to talk to a shrink. 

The chances of him ever returning to full active duty were slim to none. His doctor appt the day prior had made that abundantly clear. They would not be comfortable signing off on his return for quite some time, if ever. While that was a huge blow, he wasn’t the least bit surprised. He would put in his papers for retirement at some point. Right now he was still out on disability so it could wait.

Every night he told himself tomorrow would be the day he pulled himself out of this funk.

Tomorrow turned into three months.

++++++++++++++

“It’s about damn time. You look like shit…no offense.” Lou commented.

“Thanks Lou “ Danny stepped aside, letting Grover into his house. After Lou had threatened to ‘break down your goddamn door’ if he didn’t let him in, Danny knew he was in trouble.

Lou looked around the living room. Everything looked in order, slightly dark from the curtains being closed but other than that nothing too worrisome about the state of Danny’s home. He had almost expected it to be a wreck, judging by the lack of communication lately. Honestly, he was even more uneasy about the fact that the house was pristine, almost like no-one lived here at all. 

He watched Danny closely, noting how slowly he was still moving. How thin and pale he was.Three months and Danny should be further along than this. 

“Can I get you anything? Coffee, water, beer?” Lou was no fool, Danny was trying way too hard to act normal yet falling very short.

“I’ll take a cold one, thanks” He moved over to the couch and sat down. Danny came back a minute later with a beer and a water.

“Not gonna join me?” He questioned, raising his own drink.

“Nah, I’m good.” Danny replied as he lowered himself onto the other end of the couch. He could feel Lou’s eyes on him.

“Spit it out Lou, I can hear the wheels turning.”

“You’re a lying sack of shit you know that?”

Danny couldn’t help the surprised chuckle that escaped his lips. It felt good. It was the first time he had laughed in forever.

“You’ve been sitting here texting me ‘no Lou, I’m good’, ‘PT is going great’, ‘I’ll be back in no time’…you stupid son of a bitch. You’ve been pulling one over on me for months. Well not anymore Williams, fool me once and all that jazz…” Danny watched amusedly as Lou continued to mumble and rant.

“You gonna tell me what the hell is going on with you?”

“I’m fi….”

“So help me God Danny, you say your fine and I will knock your sorry ass out. Don’t lie to me boy.”

“Okay, I’m in a little bit of a funk”

“I know misery when I see it. This ain’t no funk.”

Danny didn’t respond, he peeled at the label on his water bottle. Being evasive through texts was one thing, but he couldn’t sit there and lie directly to the mans face.

“Grace told Will she was staying in LA for the summer to work an internship”

Danny smiled softly at the mention of his daughters success. It hurt him that she wouldn’t be around for the summer but he was so proud of the woman she was becoming.

“Yeah, she’s amazing as always.” 

“And Charlie? You must be happy, schools out. You two can spend some good old father/son time together.”

“Yea….”

“Didn’t I tell you not to lie to me?” Lou scolded, pointing a finger in Danny’s face. “Grace also said that Charlie is in London with Rachel, some space camp business…”

“Computer science” Danny corrected.

“Space camp, computer whatever…What the hell man? You’ve been sitting here alone in the dark for the past three months?”

Danny was silent.

“You gonna say something?”

“You told me not to lie. This is me, not lying.”

“You been going to PT?”

“Yes…”

Lou glared at him

“I’ve missed a few sessions but yes, I have tried to keep up. Happy?”

“No, no I am far from happy. I got one friend in the wind, God knows where off to find God knows what. I got another who has buried himself so deep in a hole that i’m not sure I’ll be able to get him out. You know I’m too old for this shit. You two idiots got me over here worrying all the damn time. I got two kids of my own to get sick over, I gotta worry about two grown men?….” Grover paced the floor, he was making Danny dizzy.

“Lou stop…sit please.”

“Just be real with me man, what else is going on? I know Steve leaving was hard on you..”

“Screw Steve, he left. He doesn’t have a right to factor into my misery.” Okay so he knew that was harsh but it was true. 

“Fair enough…” Lou let that drop for now. “…so what else? Besides the two lights of your life being away. There’s more”

Danny didn’t want to get into it. He didn’t want to talk about the end of his career. He didn’t want to talk about his declining health, or the potential surgery on the horizon to attempt to remove the scar tissue surrounding his heart. He didn’t want to talk about the risks. He didn’t want the look of pity from Lou.

He didn’t want any of it but he had no choice. Lou had a way of getting people to talk. Twenty minutes later and it actually felt cathartic to share his woes with someone. 

“So you don’t do the surgery, your heart could be crushed by your own body. You do it and you run the risk that your heart can’t handle the stress and you crap out on the operating table. I got that right?”

“More or less” Danny shrugged.

“That’s heavy man. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have been dealing with this on your own.”

“Don’t Lou, that was my choice. The world has not stopped turning because I got shot. People need to get on with their lives.” He couldn’t help the pain lacing his words. He was still hurt that Steve left so quickly after what happened. 

“He didn’t leave YOU…” 

“Don’t Lou “ Danny swallowed hard as his chest began to ache. He wasn’t sure his heart could take this conversation.

“No, you need to hear this. He didn’t leave you…he left Hawaii, his demons…but not you, never you.”

“One in the same. Either way, he fucking left. He’s gone and he hasn’t looked back.” Danny struggled to his feet. 

“Danny, come on man..”

“It doesn’t matter okay. Look, you were right, I’m not in a good place right now. I got a lot to figure out and I feel like warmed over shit all the damn time. The last thing I want to talk about is Steve. As long as he’s safe and happy then that’s all I need to know.” Danny was borderline manic and Lou was afraid of what the stress was doing to him. He stood up and faced his friend.

“Alright listen, I’ll let it go for now, but I’m not finished with you. You’re not gonna keep pushing us away.” Placing his hand on the back of Danny’s neck he leaned down to catch his eyes. “Steve wasn’t your only friend. I’m here man, just let me in.”

Danny lowered his head, gently nodding. Lou could see his friend needed some time to get himself together. They said their goodbyes. Danny promised to be in touch more frequently, to be honest and more open. Lou swore he would keep the contents of their visit to himself. Danny did not want the team to know and he especially didn’t want Steve aware.

“I won’t seek him out Danny, but if he asks how you are I won’t lie. I’m not talking about your medical issues, that’s your business to tell. But I won’t lie and tell him you’re okay until you really are okay.” 

And with that understanding, Lou had left and Danny went back to bed.

++++++++++

“My man! How’s life on the ranch?” 

Steve sighed, he wasn’t sure how to answer.

“It’s okay Lou, I don’t want to talk about me. How’s everything there?”

“He doesn’t want to talk about himse…nobody ever wants to talk about themselves. Why even bother calling? You think I just want to talk about MYSELF? No sir, I’m sick of my damn self…” Steve smiled as Lou rambled on. It was a painful reminder of another friend that loved to rant. A friend he hadn’t spoken to since he left him alone on the beach.

“What’s the matter, you haven’t found all the answers yet?” 

“No, I don’t think I’m gonna find what I’m looking for out here Lou.” Steve sighed.

“It took you six damn months to figure that out? Boy, you know what….”

“So, what about you? How are you? How’s the family?”

“Why don’t you just cut to the chase?”

“Fine, how’s Danny?”

“You want to know how Danny is? You should call him and ask him.”

“I’ve tried, he doesn’t answer. Just sends a text a little while later with some excuse why he couldn’t answer.”

Lou sighed heavily.

“Lou?”

“Danny is Danny, stubborn as a mule…just like someone else I know.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Is he okay?”

There was a long pause.

“No”

Steve stopped short, although he had asked, he did not expect that answer. 

“What’s wrong, has something happened?”

“You mean aside from the obvious?”

Steve lowered himself onto the bench outside the barn and rubbed a hand over his face. He had let this get out of hand. Time had passed excruciatingly slow but at the same time so quickly. After his panic of leaving Hawaii had faded, he had in fact settled into life on the ranch. It was easy and he had kept himself busy. Catherine had been gone for a little over a month. He had always known her time with him would be limited. He had enjoyed her company, but he was okay with her leaving as well. Him leaving the islands had not been about seeking a reunion with Catherine. So he was glad to have some solitude after she had gone. 

The peace he had been searching for was not coming so easily. Truth be told, he missed Hawaii. He missed his family. He missed Danny.

“I’m sorry Lou.”

“Now stop all that, nothing to be apologizing for. You did what you had to do.”

“What’s wrong with Danny? Don’t bullshit me, I know you know. You would be the only person there he would open up to.”

“It’s not my place to talk about his business. All I can tell you is that he’s in a pretty dark place Steve. He’s got a lot going on. That’s all I can say. You want more you’re gonna have to get it from him yourself. But Steve, and I’m not trying to guilt you into anything, you still need time I get that, but you should really make that happen sooner rather than later. Sometimes time slips away from us and all we are left with is regrets.”

“Wait, what the hell does that mean?! Lou what aren’t you telling me?” 

Lou groaned, clearly wanting to say more.

“Steve, you want me to be real with you?”

“Yes! Dammit Lou, please!” Steve’s heart was racing.

“Get your ass home, your boy needs you”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have absolutely zero medical knowledge. Whatever condition I'm giving Danny may or may not even be a possibility. I could do my research and find something legit but honestly, during this pandemic, I don't really care to delve into the world of real disease. 
> 
> This is short chapter but I wanted to get something out.

“Well isn’t this a special treat. Nice to see you among the living for a change” Lou sat across from Danny at the small table in front of the coffee shop. Danny gave him a warm smile.

Danny had kept to his word ever since Lou reamed him out at his house two months ago. He had kept in touch on a fairly regular basis. He had even made a rare appearance for a drink with the team. That had been a little too much for him and he hadn’t done it again. Getting together with everyone without Steve there was a punch in the gut. He had been able to push his hurt and anger down enough to go about his daily functions and being with the team, Steve’s team, brought it too close to the surface. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Lou wanted to comment on Danny’s frail appearance, the bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin. He wanted to ask what was up with the semi mountain man look his friend was sporting these days. Danny had let the sides grow out on his hair again and rarely slicked it back anymore. His facial hair was scruffy and looked to be about two weeks worth of growth. If the situation was different Lou would say it actually suited him.

But Lou kept all these thoughts to himself. He didn’t need to bring up Danny’s obvious state of depression. Not when he had made the effort to ask Lou to meet him for some coffee.

“I needed to talk to you about something”, Danny stated seriously , sipping at his tea.

“Uh oh, I know that face. I’m not gonna like this am I?”

“Relax Lou, it’s just something I did that I hope you’ll be ok with.”

“Not making me feel any better pal”, Lou huffed.

“I made you my power of attorney.”

A feeling a dread took over Lou’s body.

“Aw shit, Danny, are things that bad? You that sick man?”

Danny leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.

“Things are status quo, I just…Steve was my medical proxy, emergency contact and what not…” Lou held up a hand, stopping him.

“Now hold on just a second, you tellin’ me that I got to make the decisions if you…can’t?”

“No, no I have all that taken care of. My wishes are on paper, on file with the proper people in the proper places. You really wouldn’t be responsible for anything except…well, except for being the bearer of bad news.”

Lou didn’t know how to respond. He rubbed a hand over his face and leaned back. 

“I’m sorry for dropping this on you Lou, I just…I could’ve made it Rachel, but I didn’t want her to be the first to get that phone call. My family is far away. I need someone I trust to be the one to talk to them if something…”

“Christ Danny, it sounds like you’re planning your funeral man”

“That’s not what this is Lou, I promise.” Danny sighed at Grover’s disbelieving look. Danny took a deep breath before going on.

“For a long time I never had to worry, ya know?” Lou quirked an eyebrow at him. “Ok, so maybe I worried all the time. But if something happened, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Steve would make sure Grace and Charlie were alright. that he would take care of everything.” He paused, straining to keep his emotions in check. “But Steve is gone now, and I need someone I trust in case something happens to me.”

Lou was silent for several moments. He couldn’t push down the feeling of dread that came with this request. Danny was leaving something out and he was afraid to find out.

“I’m sorry man, I shouldn’t have…you have your own family to worry about. This wasn’t fair of me to p…”

“Now cut that out, please.” Lou stopped him, leveling him with a steady glare. “Of course I’ll take care of those kids man, as if they were my own. You didn’t have to worry before and you don’t now. But Danny, what’s brought this on? What aren’t you saying?”

“I told you, with Steve gone…”

“No, there’s more. This is not just about him. You’re making plans, expecting something bad to happen.”

“That’s not news Lou, I’ve been doing that my whole life.” Danny huffed out a short laugh.

“Don’t bullshit me, this is more than you being your usual negative Nancy self. Now cut the crap and give it to me straight.”

They stared at one another for a few moments, Grover practically daring him to come up with a lie. When Danny finally spoke, Lou wished he hadn’t asked.

“I have to make a decision soon and I just need to know things are in order. In case I make the wrong one.”

“Well, shit” Lou slumped down in his seat. 

+++++++++++++++++

Danny looked at his reflection in the mirror. 

He barely recognized himself anymore. He was shocked that Lou hand’t brought up his appearance when they had met for coffee a few days ago.

If he were on the outside looking in, he would punch himself right in the face. That was the thing about his current state. It was like he was watching himself go through the motions, while something inside of him was screaming to snap out of it, but he just couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t want to. Had Lou been right? Was he subconsciously planning his own funeral? 

He was so grateful that Lou agreed, whole heartedly, to take on the role Steve left behind. His doctors had been pressuring him to make a decision soon before that too was taken out of his hands. He had been given all of the information. Surgery to remove the scar tissue surrounding his heart was incredibly risky. All operations come with a risk but he was considered high risk. They just couldn’t guarantee that his heart or body would hold out through the procedure, not to mention being put under again. The reward, however, could buy him many more ‘semi’ healthy years.

They had warned him that with every passing day, more scar tissue developed and his situation was getting worse. There were moments where he swore he could feel his heart being constricted, a heavy pressure in his chest. That, however, could also be attributed to the state of depression and anxiety he had slipped into. Which had brought him to the decision to update his will and power of attorney.

He struggled with how to proceed. If he went forward with the surgery he would want to see Grace and Charlie first, just in case he didn’t come out of it. But to get them home he would have to tell them what was happening and the last thing he wanted to do was drop this on any of them, including Rachel. 

Leaning on the sink he let his head fall between his shoulders, tired of seeing his miserable face staring back at him. 

A soft knock from his front door had him closing his eyes. He sighed heavily. He was in no mood for company. The only light on in the house was the one in the bathroom, so anyone trying to peek through the blinds to see if he was there would only see darkness. He hoped that was enough of a deterrent and the person would just go away. 

He stayed perfectly still when the bell rang next, practically holding his breath. He waited.

When a minute had passed without another sound from the front door, he raised his head. Avoiding looking at himself in the mirror he turned off the light before stepping out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. Just as he was about to climb into bed he heard the front door opening. 

His heart began to race. Quietly grabbing his spare gun from the night table he moved into the hallway. The house was dark and as he came around the corner into the living room he saw a large dark shadow lurking near the door.

The only sound in the room came from his weapon as he clicked the safety off. 

The intruder turned, bumping into the side table.

“Freeze!” Danny shouted.

Light suddenly flooded the room as the intruder switched on the table lamp. Danny had to blink, the light briefly stinging his eyes. When his vision cleared he saw the one person he never expected staring back at him.

“Hey Danno”


End file.
